The Cookie Game/or How to Teach Your Kids Self Control

Lately I’ve been in thought about some of the eating behaviors I’ve seen around here. The little ones have, at times, been stuffing too much food in their mouth too fast, whining at any delay of a meal, and even sneaking food without asking. They can throw a royal fit if not given what they want. I am the kind of mom that disallows such behaviors but it’s a work in progress. We take each on every time they surface. Deeply etched into my memory are the starving people that I’ve seen on mission trips and I don’t let my children forget them. I can’t wait until they can gain more perspective from their own experiences helping people in true need. But today we did an easy little exercise rather than my usual discourse on the starving people of the world that can get repetitive. And what started as a lesson about food, patience, and self control ended on a much deeper note.

We made cookies. I’m not afraid of cookies, or any other food. We really enjoy eating healthily and eating treats in moderation and not being too uptight about food. But today we chose not to eat the cookie dough. And we didn’t eat the first cookies the instant they were cool. I left the cookies on the counter and we waited for snack time. At snack time I let them each pick their cookie(s) and I got them milk and we sat at the table. I brought out a timer and I challenged them. “Can you wait 3 minutes before you eat your cookie?”

Their eyes got big, they took the challenge, and with mouths watering they sat there. My oldest plugged her nose and covered her eyes at first to quell the temptation. My 4 year old wasn’t sure he could do it. My 2 year old didn’t know quite what was going on but she was game. We’ve been working on “wait” with her in little baby steps already. When the timer went off, they savored their cookies like I’ve never seen them do before. My 4 year old even decided to save some for later. He has most certainly never done that before.

I asked why they thought we did that and of course my smarty oldest said, “So that you could blog about it, Mom.” She has me pegged. But after we laughed about that that, we had a discussion about patience and self control. We talked about how hard it is to hold yourself back from something you want and how important it is to be able to do so. In the end we talked about sin and self control. They were amazed at their own capacity to restrain themselves when what they wanted so badly was right in front of them.

I’m so blessed by these kids and by their willingness to learn life lessons from me and with me. This lesson illustrates powerfully and quickly that they can choose what they do and when they do it. We each have in us this same type of struggle between what we want and choosing to live rightly. I want them to realize fully the decisions that they make everyday and not make excuses for themselves. Self control has fallen on bad times in this modern era. You’ve heard, no doubt, about this “fast food generation” and all that. But there are real implications for our children who have had near every need and want provided for quickly and have been apologized to profusely for any delay or lack. They told me that they want to wait longer next time. “Maybe 5 minutes next time, Mom. And after that, 10.” They are so willing to challenge themselves and grow that patience. I love it. And I love that when they… and I… fail in life there is grace.